Here’s the Best Man’s toast I gave at my brother Ken’s wedding:

Well, we’ve been mistaken for twins on more than one occasion so if you don’t know who I am yet and haven’t figured things out from the resemblance, I’m Ken’s older brother Roger.

When Ken first asked me if I would be his Best Man, my response was likely not something he had hoped for. My reply was, “Well, I guess so.” Those words just kind of came out of my mouth before I could really think. It was definitely one of those times where you wished you could do a TiVo rewind back in time.

Clearly, “I guess so” is not a very good response to being asked to be a Best Man. But it wasn’t that I didn’t want to be his Best Man. It was simply that I just wasn’t expecting it. After all, Ken and I live over 400 miles apart from each other, I hadn’t even seen him for over a year, and we hardly ever spoke on the phone either. I just honestly didn’t think that he was going to ask me to be his Best Man.

But after pulling my foot out of my mouth and reflecting on things a bit, I began to realize that even though we were both leading our own busy lives and weren’t able to get together as much as we had in years past, the fact remained that we’re family - we’re brothers - and as such, we have a history, relationship, and bond that is unique from anything that Ken may share with anyone else. I’ve known Ken his entire life - very few people can say that - and we’ve been through quite a bit together so being his Best Man actually made a lot of sense.

I’ve seen Ken go from being a little kid who sucked his thumb and wet his bed for far too long grow up to become one of the finest men I have ever known. Now that may sound like a cliché of sorts, but in Ken’s case it’s absolutely true. It is said that patience is a virtue, and Ken certainly possesses a patience and even-temperament that I find truly remarkable. In fact, I can’t even recall an instance where I’ve seen him really angry. And although he excels at many things in his life, the arrogance that is often associated with achievement just isn’t there.

But of all Ken’s traits, the ones I find most admirable are his complete selflessness and generosity. He routinely gives of himself for the benefit and well-being of others. In the case of caring for our disabled mother, over the years he has devoted countless hours of his time towards her care, without resentment or even so much as a hint of complaint. His ability and willingness to give are qualities that I, try as I may, simply cannot even come close to emulating.

And so while it may be that he looked up to me as the older brother while growing up, I find that it is now not uncommon for me to look up to him. I’m extremely proud of the person he has become, and I’m certain that he will be an excellent husband to Janet. And, if they so choose, I’m sure that he will be an excellent father as well. And that’s not something that I guess to be true. That’s something that I know to be true.

So please join me by raising your glasses to toast the start of a wonderful new life together for Ken and Janet.

Posted by Roger at 9:57 pm.