What’s the first thing that comes to mind when people hear that Aaron finally proposed to Kate? Probably “It’s about friggin’ time!” or something to that effect. After nearly 7 long years (or is it 8?), Palumbo-Head finally took a dump. Not a literal one mind you (and I apologize if that conjured up any painfully unpleasant visions), but a reference to the old saying, “Shit or get off the pot”. So it’s a bit vulgar and not quite PC, but hey, it’s good for a laugh. At least for the guys. The women on the other hand are probably grumbling about the ruination of a touching, beautiful, and loving moment etc. Oh well.

So what was the reason behind his, uh, constipation? After all, the two of them seemed perfect for each other - they had a great relationship, shared many common interests, and genuinely enjoyed being around each other. Plus they’ve been dating for a really long time. Despite Aaron’s many quirks (far too many to list here, my hard drive’s only 40 GB you know), Kate had long ago come to accept them. Hard to believe as it may be, she even learned to accept the most prominent of his quirks: those strange eating habits. Now if that’s not true love and devotion, I don’t know what is. So why the hold up? Fear of commitment? Perhaps, but probably not. We can only guess at the reason. Maybe it was it was just plain old-fashioned procrastination. Whatever the reason, it wasn’t until around October of 2002 or so that Palumbo-Head began to seriously entertain the idea of asking for Kate’s hand in marriage.

Roger Rant
But alas, this is America and an American proposal cannot be complete without the shining symbol of American excess and materialism. Love and commitment? Hah! Show me the money! A corporate marketing campaign has brainwashed millions of otherwise reasonable women into placing an unduly high significance on a superficial, material object that, not coincidentally, costs a small fortune. This highly coveted stone has become almost a contingency for marriage, and a marriage is somehow lacking or subpar if the woman is not able to successfully secure a stone of a certain monetary value. As with nearly all superficial desires, the fundamental motivation behind this longing is based primarily on outward appearances more so than anything else, but what’s particularly sad is that in the process, the perceived value of a man’s love and commitment, L, is effectively reduced to a simple mathematical equation centered around money: L = fx where ‘x’ is equal to the man’s monthly salary and ‘f’ is the love factor, the mean value of which is generally regarded by women as being around 2. Of course, as ‘f’ increases, so does the perceived value of the man’s feelings towards the woman. With women placing such a high importance on a material object as part of marriage, is it really any wonder that the divorce rate is so high?

[RANT ADDENDUM: Now please don't take things the wrong way. That last statement, indeed the entire rant, is most definitely NOT a specific statement regarding Aaron and Kate, but a general statement about our society. I am merely expressing my GENERAL opinion on this issue and am not making ANY personal implications here. Women desire diamond rings, that is a fact, and while I may take issue with the reasons behind that desire, the fact remains. Does that therefore make women shallow or selfish? Of course it does, to some degree, but the fact is that everybody is shallow and selfish to some degree. If we weren't, we'd all be in the Peace Corps building shelters for starving children. Nobody's perfect and I'll be the first to admit that I'm far from it. After all, I drive a $30K, gas-guzzling SUV, paid over $1,000 for a mountain bike, routinely pay the equivalent of many people's annual incomes to go snowboarding, the list goes on. Does my shallowness and selfishness make me a bad person? I'm certainly not proud about it, but I don't think that it does, and neither do I think that a woman's desire for a diamond ring makes her a bad person. But that's just what I think. What do you think? I'll climb off my soapbox now so you can climb on yours. Voice your opinion here!]

Quest for the Ring
So a ring had to be gotten. For Aaron, however, the quest for the perfect ring was not an easy one. He searched high. He searched low. He searched high again and everywhere in between. This was leading him nowhere quickly. After several rounds of this, it suddenly dawned on him that he was going to have to expand his search outside of his house. Hmmmm . . . the area outside of his house is a pretty big place so additional assistance was likely required. He solicited the services of Judy who suggested they try Costco. Perhaps the tremendous purchasing power of Costco might be able to lessen the considerable impact on Aaron’s wallet. Unfortunately, that turned out to not be the case. After failing to find anything at Costco, they headed to some of the jewelry stores in the mall.

Close Call
During one of their jewelry store excursions, Kate was nearly tipped off to the impending proposal. While checking out rings at one of the stores, Kate happened to call Aaron on his cell phone. As he was talking to her, the salesman walked back into the room and blurted out loud, “Hey Aaron Joseph Palumbo, what do you think about that diamond ring that you’re going to propose to Kate Killen with?” Or something to that effect. Doh! Luckily, Kate didn’t catch the salesman’s outburst.

The search continued and eventually the perfect ring was found. Fortunately, Aaron’s taste in rings is better than his taste in food. Much better in fact. The ring he ended up choosing, price tag and principle aside, was actually very cool. Kate would surely be impressed.

Hey, Ya Wanna, Like Um, Get Married or Something?
With his bank account freshly depleted, Aaron now had the daunting task of actually planning how the proposal was to happen. “Hey Kate, wanna get married?” while watching TV probably wasn’t going to cut it. This was a once in a lifetime occasion so he wanted to make it special and memorable. After much thought, he came up with a plan that would involve rock climbing, an activity that both he and Kate enjoyed doing together.

The plan was to propose at the top of “The Eye” in Joshua Tree. The Eye is a relatively easy climb, but it is really cool and unique because at the top, the rock opens up through to the other side, kind of like, well, an eye. Aaron would lead the climb up, and Kate would follow. At the top of the climb, Aaron would present Kate with a rose, tell Kate how much she meant to him, yada, yada, yada, and then present her with the ring while asking her to spend the rest of her life with him. OK, everybody, all together now, “Awwwwwww”.

Support Crew
Now Aaron’s a pretty good climber, but to get a rose up the climb without Kate noticing was pretty much near impossible. That’s where the rest of the gang came in. Rob, Sean, Sue, Sue’s boyfriend Don, Judy and myself were to arrive at Joshua Tree before Aaron and Kate and climb up the backside of the rock to the top of The Eye. From atop the rock, we’d be able to take pictures of Kate and Aaron as they arrived, give Aaron the proposal rose when he got to the top of the climb, and then surprise the newly engaged couple (or at least half of the newly engaged couple) as they emerged from the rock. Shortly afterwards, Aaron’s parents would show up at the climb and join the celebration. Then the party would be moved to a pre-reserved campsite where a bunch more people would show up to hang out and camp overnight if desired.

Unfortunately, the timing of the proposal wasn’t ideal. Judy and myself could only be there for a few hours since Judy’s mom was visiting that weekend. Since her mom only visits once a year (she lives in China), we certainly couldn’t just bail on her. In addition, Anti couldn’t make it due to personal obligations that weekend. Aaron and Kate’s weekends were booked up for pretty much the next month, and although the event could have been shifted to the next weekend, it was feared that any further delay would provide too much time for the secret to accidentally slip out.

So the date was set for Saturday, February 08, and the plan was set in motion. Since Judy and I wanted to maximize the time that we could spend with her mom, we decided to schedule the event for early in the morning. Her mom would be arriving at 11:30 that morning so we would hopefully be able to get back to San Diego with only a couple of hours lost. Aaron would convince Kate that it was in their best interest to get to the climb early enough in case any other parties were planning on doing the same climb that morning. Since they were going to be staying at Aaron’s parents’ house in Redlands, getting to Joshua tree at 7:30 in the morning wasn’t all that unreasonable.

Rob and Sean headed up to Josh on Friday. By camping there overnight, they wouldn’t have to get up quite so early. On their way up, they stopped by the Pottery Barn because Rob was out of scented candles and potpourri. Hith plathe juth didn’t thmell like the gorgeouth blooming meadow of flowerth like it uthe to. While they were there, they decided it might be a good idea to also get some small gifts for the soon-to-be engaged couple. It would turn out to be a nice touch.

Judy and I awoke dark and early Saturday morning at the god-awful hour of 4:00 AM. It was necessary if we were to ensure that we were at the climb by 6:45. We needed to be there 30-45 minutes ahead of Aaron and Kate so that we’d have time to set up. We arrived just prior to 7:00 and soon met up with Sean and Rob. Not long thereafter, Sue and Don showed up. We parked in the Hidden Valley parking lot and began the trek up the backside of the Eye. Getting up was somewhat cumbersome because we had to bring a bunch of stuff up with us: cameras, the gifts that Sean and Rob bought, monster champagne bottles, flowers, and other assorted stuff.

False Alarm
Once atop the rocks, we assumed our positions and waited. And waited. And waited. At one point, we saw a grayish 4-Runner and thought that it was them. To our horror, this 4-Runner pulled in to the Hidden Valley parking lot which, at that time, had only three vehicles in it: Sean’s truck, Sue’s Pathfinder, and my 4-Runner. Did Aaron just totally blow the surprise? We watched the 4-Runner circle the parking lot and then get back on to the main road. From our vantage point, it looked just like Aaron’s truck. It then drove right past the area where Aaron was supposed to park and pulled off onto a dirt road, driving slowly and occasionally stopping. Whoever it was, they were surely lost. It followed the dirt road and soon disappeared behind a rock. Several minutes later, it reappeared, pulled back onto the main road and kept going until it was out of sight. By this time, we were pretty sure that the vehicle we saw wasn’t Aaron’s.

The Wait
So we continued to wait. And wait. And wait some more. There were several false alarms. We were pretty high up so it was difficult to clearly identify the vehicles as they appeared. Nearly an hour after the scheduled arrival time, we saw a dark SUV approach. Could it be them? All of us kept watching it and concluded that the color was too dark - it looked like a black SUV, not Aaron’s grayish silver 4-Runner. Just as we were about to dismiss this vehicle, it turned a bend and we realized that it could very well be Aaron’s 4-Runner. The early morning sunlight was playing weird tricks on us! Everyone assumed their positions and got the cameras ready.

It was finally them! We spied them from our lofty positions and snapped a few photos. When they finally reached the base of the rock, I was able to scramble into a strategic position right above them and snap a few pics. Aaron pulled out his camera and was actually able to snap a picture of me, unbeknownst to Kate of course, at the top of the rock with a big “thumbs up” sign.

No “Maybe” This Time
Aaron was soon making his way up the climb and not long after that, Kate began her ascent. The monumental moment was drawing near! We all got into our positions. It was pretty windy so we’re not entirely clear on exactly what happened next, but Aaron popped the question and was relieved when the answer was a “yes” instead of a “maybe” (for those who don’t know, that was Kate’s response when Aaron first asked her out). They did some hugging, embracing, etc., etc., etc., and then we’re not sure what they did because it was an awfully long time before they emerged. Kate emerged first, and I was able to get a couple of shots of her before she noticed me. When she finally looked up and realized that there was some dude lying on his stomach with a camera pointed at her, we all jumped out and screamed. Kate was most definitely surprised.

The champagne was uncorked and Kate and Aaron spent some time on the rocks opening their assorted gifts. Judy and I had to get back to San Diego so we had to leave. On our way down, we passed Aaron’s parents who had just arrived and were about to scramble up and join the celebration. They had two huge bottles of champagne with them, and smiles so wide that it was hard to see anything but teeth.

All in all, it was a fantastic day. Kate was completely surprised, the entire operation was pulled off with nary a hitch, and everybody involved had a wonderful time. Kate Palumbo-Head? Hmmm . . . that might take some time to get used to. Of course, plenty of pictures were taken between Aaron, Rob, and myself.

Posted by Roger at 8:22 pm.